Hoehne is better than Trinidad because...

DS I have been going to Hoehne School for 8 years. It has been such a good school, I have never wanted to leave! Hoehne school has consistently proven itself superior to Trinidad. [Thesis] Hoehne school is better than Trinidad because it is much safer, our kids don’t do drugs in the bathroom, and we are more focused on academics than slutty fashion.
Body Paragraph 1 [Topic Sentence] It is hard to learn when one doesn’t feel safe. At Hoehne, one always feels safe. [SDS #1] Hoehne school is equipped with high surveillance cameras in every hallway, that monitor the school 24/7. [E #1] In fact, just the other day, a student was caught vandalizing the school with the high tech. cameras. [SDS #2] Hoehne school is located in the rural town of Hoehne. This quiet community cuts down on violence and crimes. [E #2] Just think, how many shootings have been reported in wheat fields? [SDS #3] Hoehne is a smaller community, and almost everyone gets along with each other. [E #3]Trinidad has many more students than Hoehne, which gives them more gangs in the school. We all know that gangs mean trouble.
[R#2] Beyond the safeness of Hoehne, we also have a great sport program! [SDS #1] For the past two years, our varsity girls’ volleyball team has gone to state tournaments two years in a row! [E#1] By the way, we won those State Championships!
[SDS#2] Our track team, at Hoehne, is a very awesome team! [E#2] Two seniors, from Hoehne, had won many medals at a National Tournament in Australia! [SDS#3] Last year our varsity boys’ football team, had bounced their way up to the semi-finals! [E#3] They are working very hard to get back up to the semi-finals this year!
[R#3] For the past 2 years, Hoehne has ranked in the top 5 schools of Colorado for best academic scores! [SDS#1] Our teachers here at Hoehne School are devoted to getting us a great education. [E#1] Some teachers at Trinidad just care about getting paid. [SDS#2]We are also more academically focused. [E#2] I’ve heard that some girls at Trinidad, just care about how they look and who said what to who. [SDS#3] Our CSAP scores have also been high in the Colorado rankings! [E#3] Only 75% of Trinidad students passed the CSAP compared to the 86% at Hoehne.
[Con.] Hoehne has caught many peoples attention. They have noticed that Hoehne is a great school for their children to go to! Every year I believe that Hoehne School gives out pamphlets of Hoehne’s scores compared to others school in the district. Hoehne, as usual, has had the higher scores! We have also recently installed high surveillance cameras that monitor the entire school. In conclusion Hoehne is better than Trinidad because we have better academic scores, a great community, and great extra curricular activities!